Wednesday, October 17, 2012

DIY Bangs

First, we must examine what makes a person think they can cut their own bangs.

No, I take that back. First, we must say a quick 'thank goodness' that things like hats and bobby pins exist.

THEN, we will talk about what made me think I could cut my own bangs.

Kennedy's out of town, so I had to have an inner dialogue about this. It happened in the form of a checklist for me.

Do you have a big chunk of hair hanging in front of your face that wants to be bangs? Yes.

Are you busy right now? Not really.

Do you have scissors anywhere? Yes! I bought some hair scissors last night!

How hard could it be? It can't be that hard. I've trimmed my own bangs plenty of times. And Brittany, my old hair-cutting girl said she does it all the time and it's SO EASY! And I permed all my friends' hair  freshman year of college, so bangs are going to be super easy.

Should you look up a tutorial online first? Pssshhh, no. I got this.

So I set to work parting my hair carefully, and making that first cut. And I quickly reached the point of no return. Soon after, I reached the point in which you should just. stop. cutting.

But, cutting bangs is a slippery slope, my friends. There's always 'just one more hair', or 'let me just thin this out'.

If you're going to do this, you need to have a talk with yourself before-hand about what your hair cutting limit is. Then stick to it! It's really easy to get lost in the details of the fringe, and forget about the BIG PICTURE.

(The big picture being your head, and what it looks like now that you just gave yourself bangs.)

I also recommend having another person around (Someone who can speak, and understand the concept of bangs. Babies don't count). That person should stand next to you and look at you in the mirror so that you can simultaneously watch yourself cutting your own bangs and see their facial expression in reaction to the bang-stravaganza.

Do not let a friend cut your bangs for you, because you will hate them forever if they screw it up. Friends, do not cut your friends bangs, even if she begs you, because she will hate you forever.

Alas, none of that was relevant to me. I wandered into the Valley of Bangs alone. Scared and alone.

Apparently not scared enough though.

I finally gathered enough will power to stop cutting my bangs, and turned to styling them. This was a good move. I took some time to wear them. See how they fell after a while of wearing them. I took them to Hobby Lobby and no one gave me weird looks. At that point, I concluded that I probably looked like Natalie Morales from the Today Show.

Natalie is on the right.

Then, I get in the car and glance at my new bangs, and now I'm thinking that I look more like that girl from the Sour Patch Kids commercial.

But at least I still have my other hair.

I literally have no point of reference right now. I am in a Bermuda Triangle of bangs and I don't know which way is up and which way is down. I am going to have to ride out the bang train for a couple of days and see if they grow in correctly.

Kennedy gets home tomorrow. Maybe he'll throw me a lifesaver.

I don't even know what I'm saying anymore! BANGS!!!!!!

Here's the bangs.

Maybe it's all in the styling? I didn't know you had to style bangs. Live and learn.


Minda said...


Mom Song said...

They look great!

Courtney said...

They look good! So much better than what I could do.

Blogging tips