Freedom, come to an end.

Web design is not necessarily new to me. When I was like 12 or 13, I started making my own webpage on tripod.com. I can't remember the address anymore, and it may have been deleted after all of these years. I just googled it and found my old blogs. That's right, this isn't my first time blogging, either. In fact, I held 2 previous blog addresses, each with hundreds of entries. I loved blogging. Mostly because I was a hermit and couldn't wait to tell about my day to the internet. Yeah, so I was a nerd too. Not that bloggers now are nerds.

I've just been reading my very first blog and laughing at how ridiculous my life was. It's fun to look back and see how much I've grown up, how different my priorities are compared to now. Well, I'm not going to link to my old blogs. They are not me anymore. I will, however, copy and paste all of the wonderful Jack Handy quotes from an old entry! I read these today, and they still make me laugh.

Jack Handey


#393: The day I met Marta was the happiest day of my life, because that was the day I screwed a friend of mine out of a bunch of money.

#157: I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little basket-beds with my name on it.

#341: They were a proud people. In fact, some said they were too proud. If you asked them whey they were so proud, they'd just laugh and say, "We're not even going to answer that."

#209: You know what's probably a good thing to hang on your porch in the summertime, to keep mosquitoes away from you and your guests? Just a big bag full of blood.

#295: There's a world that we know nothing about, that we can only imagine. And that is the world of books.

#395: I remember one night I was walking past Mom and Dad's room when I heard them talking about how they might not have enough money to pay their bills that month. I knew what I had to do. I went and got my piggy bank and buried it in the backyard, where they couldn't get their mitts on it.

#298: People need to realize that every time they talk about how "fragile" our planet is, it's just like asking outer-space aliens to come invade us.

#282: If you lose your job, your marriage and your mind all in one week, try to lose your mind first, because then the other stuff won't matter that much.

#89: If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised.

#349: When I saw the old bum pushing his grocery cart down the street, at first I felt sorry for him. But then when I saw what was in his cart I thought, Well, no wonder you're a bum, look at the dumb things you bought.

#317: Instead of mousetraps, what about baby traps? Not to harm the babies, but just to hold them down until they can be removed.

#289: There is one question that probably drives just about every vampire crazy: "Oh, do you know Dracula?"

#249: It's funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.
#380: For a while there, instead of calling Grandpa "Grandpa," I started calling him "Grandpappy." But he didn't like that, and asked me to go back to Grandpa. So I did, but I changed it a little. I put an "e" in instead of an "a," so it became "Grendpa." At first he didn't notice, but then he said, "What did you call me?" "Grandpa," I said. But then I went back to calling him Grendpa. Finally he just said to go ahead and call him Grandpappy, which I did, only I changed it a little bit to "Grendpeppy."
#99: Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling.

I got a job today. At Starbucks. I think it might be all ok. I'm just gonna miss Elvis.

If I feel like it, I think I might write more later tonight!