Newborns

First of all, Kim Kardashian's butt is huge, and should not be covered in spandex.

Secondly, why am I watching this?

The answer is, I am now externally tethered to this adorable little bundle of joy:

And the remote is hidden somewhere. (Edit: I just found it on the couch. Right next to my right leg.)

I don't want to be one of those moms who updates their facebook status about every poop and pee that the baby makes, inadvertently forcing people to block me from their newsfeed, or un-friend me. The solution is that he will most likely take over my blog.

How could he not? He's my biggest project yet! I have already learned so much about life in general (and been awakened to things that did not previously exist to me) in the short 6 days since he's been liberated from the womb. (That's one thing I realized - it's weird to me now to say something like '...since he's been on this Earth'. I realize now he's been on this Earth the entire time. Duh, Sara.)

I've decided to make a list of things I've been awakened to since the arrival of little Campbell. (Even using the word 'arrival' is strange now - he's been here the whole time! Mind. Blown.)

Side-effects of having a newborn:

1. Time ceases to exist - I never, ever, ever, ever thought I wouldn't look forward to Thursday night television. Then a minute ago I was watching some Kardashian spin-off, and Kennedy reminded me that it was time to watch The Vampire Diaries. Holy Guacamole! It's Thursday? What is a Thursday? Everything is running together. My life runs on 2-3 hour increments that are book-ended by feeding a baby.

2. Food ceases to exist - I love food and eating and snacking. Yesterday, I couldn't remember if I had eaten dinner or not. I'm contemplating putting a reminder in my iPhone for each meal of the day. What a strange thing. (Again, I should thank Kennedy for making sure I am eating. 99% of the time he is bringing food to me. Best. Husband/Dad. Ever. Already.)

3. Babies are more important than dogs - Admitting that feels like someone is taking a rusty dagger, plunging it into my lung, and slowly twisting it. I actually cried about it last night. I still love my dogs as much as I did before, but things have definitely changed. And no, I'm not getting rid of any of them.

4. I miss living in the hospital - People waited on our little family hand and foot while we were there. The nurse call button was amazing. The television was on 24/7. It was like a mini-vacation. Maybe I just think that because I've never stayed in a hospital before?

The past week has been the most magical, wonderful, terrifying, difficult experience of my life. We are loving every second with this child, and look forward to every little milestone and poop and pee that he has to offer.

Like falling asleep with him on my chest and waking up with a tshirt soaked in pee. Twice. In one day.

Campbell learns to iChat

Lack of sleep makes us that much funnier.

Side-note: Is anyone else over Klaus and his crazy hybrid antics on The Vampire Diaries? Because I definitely am.