redbox Etiquette

Kennedy and I rented a redbox DVD last night, (or "got a RedBox" for all you redbox veterans out there,) and had the normal conversation that usually follows. If you have been redboxing for a while now, you know the conversation.

"OMG, there was a person in front of me who was soooo slow. He went through the entire 30 pages of rentals, even the grayed out pages." (Because we now say OMG out loud in addition to typing it.)

or

"OMG, this lady read every synopsis in the romantic comedies before deciding, and then kept scanning her debit card upside down."

(via)

Yeah, nothankyou

This frustrates me usually, but last night I had an epiphany. I realized that the worst redbox offenders that I have come across are from the Block Buster generation. And this was how you rented movies 5-10 years ago.

We used to have a family tradition of going to Block Buster on a weekend night (usually after Braum's Ice Cream or something) and everyone went their separate ways to browse the rental selection. It was a great time, and it worked well for Block Buster.

Well, redbox ain't Block Buster, my friends! I have decided to compile a short quiz to help you determine whether or not you're a redbox amateur.

1. Do you know what movie you want to rent before you get to the front of the redbox line? (Yes/No)

2. Do you have the redbox app on your smartphone? (Yes/No)

3. Did you know that you can check availability/reserve a DVD before you even get to the kiosk? (Yes/No)

If you answered NO to any of these 3 questions, then you need to keep reading. If you answered YES to all, then you need to forward this blog post on to at least 5 people or you will be eaten alive after unknowingly stepping in a ground nest full of a rare wasp/hornet/ant hybrid species.

Now let's talk about redbox Etiquette. Follow these 3 easy steps and you will be a redbox Pro in no time! Membership benefits include getting hours of your life back, and feeling superior in the redbox line.

1. a) If you have a smartphone, download the redbox app. If you don't know what the 3 underlined words in that last sentence mean, take your cell phone to the nearest redbox kiosk and stand next to it. Wait for the next person who takes 1 minute or less to rent a video and they will help you download it. Trust me, they will be more than happy to help, as it is mutually beneficial to both of you.

b) If you do not have a smartphone, I'm almost positive you have a computer with internet, otherwise, how are you reading this right now? Go to the redbox website and browse to your heart's content.

2. When you decide you are in the mood to "get a redbox," open the app from Step 1 and take allllll the time you want looking at every movie that piques your interest. You can even search for specific movies! Or look at only their newest releases! And you can read plot synopses AND watch trailers! The major plus is that no one is behind you "coughing and squeaking [their] shoes so [you] know" they're there. (A direct quote from Kennedy yesterday, by the way.) And I may have completely butchered the punctuation in that quote, but I don't have time for correct punctuation! I am on a cultural mission!

3. Find/Reserve a DVD. For this, you will need to enter your credit card information. I know this makes you nervous, but it eliminates the risk of driving allllll the way over to the redbox kiosk only to find that the guy in front of you wearing a towel around his waist just rented the last copy.
Here is how you reserve from the iPhone app:

• Touch the shopping cart icon near the upper right hand corner
• Touch the button that says "Add a Movie" (or if you're renting a game, "Add a Game".)
• Touch the picture of the movie you want to add
• Touch the blue "Reserve at Kiosk" button at the bottom of the screen.
• Touch the shopping cart icon again and then the blue "Go to Checkout" button
• Proceed to checkout and the DVD will be waiting for you at whatever kiosk you chose!

Take the credit card that you reserved the DVD with to the kiosk, touch "Pick up Reservation" button, slide that card and DONE.

And THAT'S how you get a redbox in 30 seconds or less.

**I was not compensated by redbox for this blog post in any way. This is simply a Public Service Announcement from me to the world in order to make redbox lines run more quickly and smoothly.**