Tonight's Bachelorette: Spoiler Alert!

I don't usually watch the Bachelorette, but Kennedy is really into it lately, so I watched tonight. Here's my recap.

On tonight's Bachelorette, Emily and the 6 remaining bachelors were in Prague. Emily had 3 individual dates and 1 group date.

Arie was first up and they walked around Prague and did romantic things like imagine how many people have stood in this exact spot and looked at the exact same thing. Then Emily confronted him about his secret (that he once dated a current producer on the show.) But the conversation happened off camera and surprise! Was magically resolved...it was all just a big misunderstanding, so they made out.

Next up was the 5-head. I have a hard time remembering his name but it doesn't matter because he was sent home at the end of the show.

Then she had a group date with Sean, Chris, and the guy who has an 11-year-old.

I'll spare details from this uneventful group date, except that WHAT IS WRONG WITH CHRIS?!? And why did she give him a rose??? He creeps me out in a "Dark Passenger" kinda way. Needless to say, I guess I'm hooked on this show now.

Kennedy asked me, "If you were the Bachelorette, and I was in a group of 20 guys and wasn't the best looking one there, would you still choose me?" Then I asked him, "Well...who else is there?" Totally joking, by the way. But it got me thinking...what if I was the Bachelorette?

All dates would take place in my living room, watching Real Housewives on BRAVO. Anyone who hadn't heard of/hadn't watched Dexter, LOST, Mad Men, or Arrested Development would be immediately eliminated. And we can go ahead and dump anyone whose job is "Entrepreneur." You know that just means they don't have a job.

As I'm reading over my list, I'm thinking my season would probably get cancelled 2 episodes in.

I vote that the next Bachelorette be someone who has never been on the show before. And I think it should be Dee from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Not the actress who plays Dee, but the actual character. I'd watch that. I think it would work, because everyone wants to find love in the end, right?

On Grieving the Loss of Inanimate Objects

First things first. I finished recovering my TOMS! They are beautiful. I decided to leave the back heel patch that wretched dyed brown color and it really works. They almost have an aged leather effect. Ignore the poor quality iPhone pic. 

SADLY, now that they have an extra layer of fabric glued to the canvas (which was already a little snug thanks to my feet growing during pregnancy -- thanks to NO ONE for warning me about this beforehand...) they do not fit me.

What am I supposed to do with perfectly good, but used TOMS? So far, they just sit in the closet so I can open the door and look at my TOMS collection. Maybe I'll just cut the toes off all the too-small ones and start a new trend? Maybe I'll just cut my toes off so they'll fit again.

Oh, but let's talk about my grief right now.

We found out almost 2 weeks ago that Kennedy got a promotion and it will require us to move alllll the way across the country to a strange land I have never been -- Indianapolis. This is a great thing for our family. It's probably the most perfect timing too, since Campbell is small and portable and not in school. We will be there for several years, so he more than likely won't start school while there either. Plus, Kennedy is really excited to get this next chapter of his career started, and I get to stay at home with little C!

Now that we have all the mushy-gushy good stuff out of the way, let me mourn some losses of inanimate things.

1. My pool! My lovely swimming pool! My beautiful back yard! All the lush greenness that we have worked so hard to maintain!

I have one more summer to enjoy it, but my plans continue to get thwarted by house showings. (Because it would be awkward for me to be floating in the pool when a potential buyer came by...)

And almost as if Alanis herself were* writing a song to narrate my life, when I finally do get a day of pool freedom, the rain and clouds roll in.

2. My master suite! My comfy, cozy master suite! We spent our anniversary going shopping to decorate our finally finished master suite. Then 2 weeks later, someone I've never met called and told us we had to move 1,000 miles away from my new shower and claw-foot tub. "But the tub hasn't even been used yet!" I wanted to tell them. (BTW - Big reveal post coming soon??? Might as well, we have to keep everything clean all the time these days for house showings anyway.)

Actually, in an ironic twist, this list made me feel better about moving. I just realized I can take almost everything I love with me (except the pool and the master suite, obvi.)

Let me leave you with some homework:

• I like saying obvi instead of obviously, is that dumb?
• Do I use too many parenthetical asides?
• Does anyone actually know how to correctly use "ironic" in a sentence?

*I wasn't sure if I should use was or were, so I googled it, and came across this site: Grammar Girl: Quick and Dirty Tips for better writing. Hey Dean brothers, watch out! I'm going to spend my housewifedom reading this entire website, then policing your grammar in speech and text!

Since I've been gone

Since I've been gone...

11 weeks has passed. That seems like a really long time and not that long at all. I have a 4.5 month old baby. I think he is technically not considered a newborn anymore. Don't quote me on that.

I'm happy to report that I'm still highly productive in certain areas of my life. I was worried I would lose that quality once the baby got here and the "nesting hormones" leveled off. 

And now I will share one of my works-in-progress. It's a fail because it's uglier than when I started. But I will not give up!

I started with a pair of white TOMS shoes that I had worn for several months and got sick of having to wash.

Also, depending on what I was wearing them with, they looked like socks, which was weird.

Then I got a fine-tipped sharpie and went to town with this design. Don't know why I picked it, but it took forever.

I hated them. So then I decided that they could be toned down by dying them dark dark brown. Unfortunately, the dye wasn't as dark as I wanted, and they ended up looking dirty and like boy shoes.

So then, I found this tutorial on Ashley Anne Photography and decided I'd give it a go. Although, my plan is to not just cover the toe, but to cover the entire shoe with the poppy print fabric above. I'll keep you posted on how that turns out.

Kennedy says, "Why don't you just throw them away?"

Because I craft, that's why.

In other sad, unrelated news, my Baylor Tervis Tumbler got warped in the dishwasher. Thankfully, the bottom says "Dishwasher Safe" and also "Lifetime Guarantee". So it looks like I have a little exchange appointment to set up this week.